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*To be fair, I stole this title from the season finale of Bones, which aired back in May.*

Today is the last day of the 21.5.800 project. After three weeks deepening into my heart, my yoga practice, and my writing, I don’t want it to end. The amazing sense of community, the friends I have connected with and new people I have met have made these three weeks some of the most incredible and heart-felt in a long time.

When I started this journey, I joined because it was a short amount of time. I needed to prove to myself that I could stick with one thing for three weeks. Sometimes I suffer from severe “starter-itis,” and this was my chance to show my heart that I could maintain a practice that is meaningful and important to me. I have spent most of my life being belittled by family members for not showing longevity in the things I do (employment, relationships, etc). And it’s true: I don’t have the best track record for sticking with things.

So joining a community of like-minded people from around the world in 21 days of yoga and writing was EXACTLY what the Universe gifted me.

It hasn’t all been easy, that’s for certain.

I’ve had some huge breakthroughs.

I saw Ellis perform live.

And I realized that the reason I hesitate and don’t follow through with things is because my heart isn’t in them.

It’s a pretty stunning and major realization for me, a woman who always puts others first, who has a terrible time paying attention to her needs and wants, and who hides in plain sight — because it’s safer than being real.

All this has changed in the last 21 days.

I’m not saying that POOF! everything is different. I’m not saying that I woke up this morning a changed woman. Or that the world looks all sparkly and shiny and gossamer.

What I am saying is this:
* I have a new perspective on the WHY behind many of my actions.
* I am aware of the things that trigger me, that upset me, that push my buttons in ways that scare me, causing me to act out around others.
* I want to be acting in ways that are healthy, positive, and supportive in the world; this also includes in ways which help others choose to be around me.

In the last year (in particular), I have made a lot of really tough choices. Many of them have alienated me from people I care about, and some of whom I love. Being a part of 21.5.800 has given me the compassion to look at my actions clearly, with loving-kindness, and forgive myself for my mistakes. I have found the compassion to accept that I made a lot of choices that weren’t the greatest, to accept the lessons I have learned from those choices, and move forward with my heart (more or less) intact.

Bindu has offered a ten-day extension for the 21.5.800 project. It’s an opportunity to re-fresh, re-commit, re-juvenate your dedication to yoga, writing, and (most importantly) to your self. I look forward to these next 10 days as a way to digest and absorb all of the lessons I have received during the initial project, and to be gentle with myself as I move forward into some new business opportunities, new relationships with loved ones, and a new commitment to being gentle with myself, loving myself, and unfolding the petals of my ever-blossoming self.

What have you learned on this journey? Will you be continuing the extra 10 days? what would you like to re-dedicate to your self?


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