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Prompt: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

2011 is the year you go big. This is the year you leave behind those old tapes and trust your intuition more than you ever have before. This year you travel to places of where you have only dreamed; you meet the women who change your life in irreversible ways. This year you have dreams, make plans, and succeed in accomplishing your goals.

2011 is the year you live in Mystery and revelation. This is the year you experience the healing power of growth, of connection and community, of trust. This year you blossom into the amazing woman everyone has always told you that you are. This year you look in the mirror and SEE and FEEL that amazing woman staring back at you.

2011 is the year you bump into Elizabeth Gilbert on your birthday, light Shabbat candles with Marge Piercy, share a hotel room with Marianne Elliott and cuddle with Randi Buckley’s bouncing baby boy. This is the year you make sangria in Canada, shoot 120  film in Amsterdam, and almost drop your Canon DSLR into the Ganges — but don’t. This year you live above a video store in Mumbai, run on the beach in Paekakariki, and give a morning sermon in that small town you tried so desperately to escape (but now feel drawn toward again).

2011 is the year you take control of your life. This is the year you earn more than you ever have by doing less for the machine and following your bliss. This year you start to whittle away those pesky student loans and can afford airfare and hotels across the globe. This year you believe that you are worth every penny you make.

2011 is the year you feel like you are starting your life anew. This is the year you in many ways are. This year you rock it like Ani D and make no apologies for being your awesome self.

This year is about you.

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Ten years ago: Your first poem had been accepted into a literary journal. You were so elated, but your family didn’t really get it. You were still cutting. Everything hurt all the time. You were hoping to start college the coming fall. You were studying for your driving exam. All you wanted to do was escape.

You wanted so much to be a sweet child, a sweet young woman. Your heart was so troubled, and no one understood why. It wasn’t until years later when you understood yourself what all the fighting was against, and by then you still couldn’t explain it to anyone who could make it change.

I would come and hold you at night, smooth back your hair and sing you to sleep. I would stand watch at your bed so you could rest. I wouldn’t let you out to those places, to do those things you hated so much but seemed like the only way to feel alive. I would take all the knives and hide them from you, paint flowers and feathers on your arms in place of scars. I would teach you to call the spirits, to burn the herbs and make the potions to cast spells deep into the night. I would give you the moon in a bowl of water and light candles with your breath.

It didn’t matter to you how many people you knew, how much work you did, how hard you tried. Nothing felt good enough. Nothing could please them. Nothing would make them love you like you wanted.

Let’s go skating on the pond tonight. We’ll toss the blades over our shoulders with those hot pink guards glowing in the full moon’s light. Holding hands we burn figure-eights into the ice, again and again until the glass begins to crack beneath us. Then we’ll race home to make hot cocoa in the dark kitchen, trying so hard not to giggle and wake up the parents. They’ll never notice, anyway.

Let’s run away together, tell an adult what is really going on, and reach safety at the end of that screaming, angry night.

You couldn’t wait to tell someone that you had dreams of going away to college, of becoming a researcher and making the lives of women and girls better all over the world. You would sneak out the polaroid camera and use up the last slips of film before putting it away again. You had just learned your father wasn’t dead, but didn’t really know what to do next. You wanted to move away from it all, be just a 15-year-old girl in a sunny happy world and have all your dreams come true.

Sit with me a moment. Let me hold your cold red hand in mine. Together we will watch the year unfold in magick and wonder and amazing dreams-come-true. In this moment, then and now and forever in the future, anything you dream of can happen. We will do it, together. We are the same, you and I. And…

I love you.

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